What if my parents started a blog about me by Adam Bobat

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Honestly? Nah, I wouldn’t mind. If my parents were to start a blog about me, it would be the most boring thing on the internet. It would be similar to watching paint dry. For those who don’t know me, I am a very boring individual living a very unproductive life. 


Let’s do a little thinking. What would my mom say about me in her blog? It would go something like this: “Today, my son woke up at noon, stared at his phone for an hour, ate a questionable amount of food, and then disappeared into his room. Later, he emerged to ask what’s for dinner. Then he sat on his phone for a few more hours.”


If you were to read a blog, you would want some sort of thrill, drama, or humor. My life has none of that. On weekdays, I wake up at 7:30, roll out of bed, and go to the bathroom to take care of business and brush my teeth. Skipping breakfast, I get changed, put on my shoes, grab my belongings, and get into the car. The next fifteen minutes are me driving to school while my mom lectures me. Once I get to school, I go to classes, trying not to fall asleep or go on my phone, for seven to eight hours. During the winter sports season, I go to basketball practice which ranges from an hour thirty to two hours. If we have games, I get home around nine or ten — it depends on whether the game is at home or away. When I am out of season, I get home around 3:45. From the time I get home to the time sleep, I will eat dinner, aimlessly doomscroll, and take a shower — very rarely will I do my homework or study. 


On the weekends, I enjoy sleeping in, but during basketball season coach schedules practice early in the morning. When I do not have practice, I will naturally wake up either early morning, around 8, or mid-day, around 1. In both scenarios, after I wake up the first thing I do is doomscroll for one or two hours. Then, I will get out of bed and do what I need to do in the bathroom. Afterward, I eat my first meal of the day to fuel the busy day I have in front of me. The rest of my day consists of consuming media entertainment and doomscrolling, eating more food, and sleeping. I really only study or do work when I have a major assignment or very big test, like a final, coming up.


As you can see, I live a very boring life. I don’t leave the house unless I need to and I don’t talk to anyone. I don’t go on wild adventures, I don’t have drama worth spilling, and I’m certainly not out here winning awards or climbing mountains.


If my parents were to start a blog about I wouldn’t mind — they shouldn’t expect it to go viral. In fact, I would feel bad for the reader wasting their time reading about me repeating my day. I don’t think anyone would read it, and if they did, they would stop after the first blog post. The only reason I would be opposed to them writing a blog about me is that I don’t want people to know what I do. But at the end of the day, I’m just a chill guy, living a chill life.

Comments

  1. CollinsFebruary 3, 2025 at 12:37 PM

    Hi Adam,

    I think you're really underselling yourself here. I think you do a good job of portraying the irony of your situation, but I may play more into it. You draw good subliminal connections for the reader between your parents lecturing you and you never doing homework, without ever drawing an explicit connection. You do a good job incorporating humor, but I might like to hear a little more personal introspection. A lot of your essay seems to be narrative background; you could maybe dive a little deeper into thinking about why you live your life as you do. You could maybe also include more callbacks to the prompt throughout the essay, breaking up the facts. Your fourth paragraph is all exposition, but the essay is almost over. A little more reflection here may help. Great work so far!!!

    Collins

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