I'm embarrassed of this by Adam Bobat

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    Alright, so let’s go back to seventh grade me. I was an avid Naruto watcher and connoisseur. I know what you’re thinking right now. Were you a weeb? The answer would be yes. I was an anime nerd who would practice weaving hand signs together and picture myself producing imaginary Rasengans and Chidoris. I would tie a tie around my forehand and pretend it was a headband because my mom never let me buy an actual headband. During recess and physical education, I would run with my arms behind my back, visualizing Naruto, Rock Lee, Might Guy, and Kakashi in my mind. During lunch, my friends and I would have heated arguments about which characters were the strongest, who had the best abilities, and more. For example, one of these heated arguments was whether Itachi Uchiha or Shisui Uchiha was stronger. The correct answer is Itachi. If you don’t agree with me we can talk about it. I would go around saying “Dattebayo,” which means believe it. At home, I would say lines from the show in Japanese. Yes, I did think that I was him. I was going to be the next Hokage. 

    Looking back, I am truly embarrassed about the lengths I went to. From me pretending to be a ninja living by my ninja way to quoting the show when talking to people. After deep reflection, I have come to realize the reason that this went on for so long was because no one bullied me. My parents didn’t say anything, my brothers would indulge in geek talk about Naruto with me, and I went to a private school where half my class watched anime so watching anime wasn’t considered weird. Once I came to Uni High, I realized that many people didn’t watch anime, so I stopped talking about it and eventually stopped being an anime nerd.

    After watching Naruto, I’ve watched Demon Slayer, Jujitsu Kaisen, Bleach, Hunter x Hunter, etc. Another reason for my anime geeking to go away is that I have not experienced an anime better than Naruto. The decline in the amount of anime I consume is directly correlated to how I acted in seventh grade. When the embarrassment initially hit me, it hit me hard. I would have flashbacks whenever someone mentioned anime, and at nights I would stay awake staring at my ceiling while I was haunted by a compilation of my cringey seventh grade moments.

    Over time, I’ve learned to overcome my embarrassment and accept that was just the kid I was. Was it embarrassing and time I would never want to go back to? Yes, but I view it as character development. Looking back at it now, I just laugh. Sometimes I envy that my younger self would go around not caring what others would think. Although I don’t watch anime that much anymore and I don’t practice weaving hand signs, I still will reference shows I am currently watching by saying a phrase or a line from it. At the end of the day, I haven’t changed much since I was in seventh. I just don’t go full nerd about the shows I’m watching. 

Comments

  1. timJanuary 27, 2025 at 10:50 AM

    Nice post Adam Bobat! I liked the informality and friendly tone of the essay, as I felt like I was having an in-person conversation with you. Your analysis on self-growth was well executed, as you have multiple perspectives, as you are embarrassed by this phase in life but still embrace it now. One suggestion I would make is sticking to a few examples and expanding more on them. You listed a lot of instances that were interesting or funny, but you moved on from them quickly, and it felt like a list (specifically in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs). Overall, it was an enjoyable read.

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  2. TuckerJanuary 27, 2025 at 11:16 AM

    Good insight Adam. The essay felt very friendly and conversational. Throughout the whole essay I felt as though you were telling me a story about you from the past. I would have liked more self reflection on your past and how you act now. Some was done, (particularly in the last paragraph) but I would like more. The whole essay flowed very well, something I feel is very important. I would have liked a more varied paragraph structure. Overall the essay was enjoyable to read and I hope to see your next essay.

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  3. Robert TuJanuary 27, 2025 at 11:28 AM

    I like how personal you got in the blog. You keep the essay informal which follows the rubric. For example the sentence "If you don’t agree with me we can talk about it". This sentence uses a contraction and informal phrasing. I also like how this sentence shows how you are still knowledgable on anime which is a topic you find embarrassing and later in the blog adds to the ending where you find acceptance. I would suggest to maybe make the ending a bit more vague. Your blog mentions that you still watch anime and maybe you could elaborate more on it as a secretive hobby.

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